If you’ve tried to fix your marriage to no avail, then it’s time to get a move on with your life. Moreover, if you’ve tried “fixing” your spouse one too many times, you need to understand that it’s not your responsibility to fix anyone. It’s in our nature to want to help those we love; however, if you’ve given it your all and you don’t see a difference in someone’s behavior, then there isn’t much you can do from there. More importantly, you need to put yourself first. You shouldn’t have to feel trapped in a toxic marriage, and you don’t owe anyone anything—even if you and that other person share a long history.
Although it may not seem likely at the moment, you will be able to heal from any unfortunate situations your spouse put you through. Here are ways to help you mentally and emotionally move on from a destructive marriage.
The Psychology of a Toxic Marriage
When it comes to these types of dysfunctional marriages, one partner is usually manipulative toward the other partner. Manipulation comes in the form of mental, physical, and emotional abuse. If your spouse has tried taking control of your finances, understand that this is another type of abuse. It’s easy for victims of abuse to feel like they have no other option but to stay, especially when they’re married. However, you must understand that abusers are experts at making other people feel like they’re to blame—even when those people have done nothing wrong. This type of manipulation is known as “gaslighting.” Gaslighting is when a person seeks to make a targeted individual feel like they’re at fault for everything.
Additionally, most couples tend to hide the nature of their relationship from their family and friends. As a result, victims of abuse silently suffer because they feel like too much of a burden to ask for help. If you identify with any of these signs of abuse, leave your marriage immediately and reach out to a loved one.
Steps to Leaving a Toxic Marriage
Ending a toxic marriage won’t be easy, but the moment you decide that enough is enough, you will be able to rebuild your confidence and create a better life for yourself.
Build a safety net: If you’re planning on leaving a toxic marriage, you’ll have to create a thorough plan. Who will you be staying with? Reach out to your best friend or a trusted relative and take your most valuable belongings with you.
Aim to be independent: Emotional and financial independence are the main roads to freedom. If your spouse forced you to quit your job, begin applying for a new job—even if it’s part-time.
Speak up: No more secrets. Confide in your loved ones so that they can help you with this challenging period. Don’t put up with any more threats and contact your local authorities.
File for a divorce: File for a divorce at court and consult with a divorce attorney. Initial consultations are usually free.
One of the most empowering moves you will ever take is leaving a marriage that has done more harm than good. Contact The Ault Firm today to work with an experienced divorce attorney who will help you navigate through the legal process and look out for your best interests.