Separation is a confusing period because you’re learning to be independent again while still holding on to your marriage. If you and your spouse have been legally separated for several months and you miss each other, perhaps it’s time to reconcile. Luckily, legal separation isn’t permanent like a divorce, so you and your spouse will be able to restore your marriage without a hassle.
If you and your spouse have decided to mend the marriage rather than proceeding with a divorce, you’ll both have to confront what led to the separation in the first place. Did you both decide on separation because of a lack of communication? Does one partner get jealous too quickly? Before you both live under the same roof again, you’ll need to address any remaining concerns. Here are a few tips to ensure the reconciliation goes as smoothly as possible.
Accepting Change
Now that you and your spouse have lived separately, you must both accept the relationship has shifted; the chemistry you both shared before the separation won’t be the same. However, a change in relationship dynamics might be healthy for both of you, especially if the marriage was going stale before the separation. Once you and your spouse are ready to reconcile, it’s best to act like you both hit the reset button on your marriage. Acknowledge and forgive any past mistakes so you can both put the separation behind you.
Practicing Effective Communication
When you and your spouse talk about past mistakes, it’s essential to balance out the conversation with positive memories. Bring up a fond memory of a vacation you and your spouse shared or list all the attributes you admire about your partner. Try your best to avoid being too critical of each other’s pasts, as playing the blame game will only result in more strife. Remember, you and your spouse are trying to repair the marriage, not dissolve it. To ensure all communication remains civil when past mistakes come up, reflect upon what you did wrong, and verbalize it. Suggest beneficial solutions to make up for your past mistakes and consider your spouse’s input.
Saying Sorry
Fixing a marriage can feel like you’re back in kindergarten because you’re relearning basic social rules, such as the importance of apologizing when you’ve wronged someone. Although it sounds easy enough to say “sorry,” some adults have too much of an ego to apologize. You had enough time to reflect on your wrongdoings during the separation, and now’s a good time to tell your spouse everything with which you’re sorry. Avoid giving empty apologies and let your spouse know exactly what your sorry about and why. Your spouse must also apologize to you for their mishaps.
Several marriages improve after legal separation, but some couples realize they aren’t happy with their marriage anymore and proceed with the divorce. If it’s time for you and your spouse to end the marriage, you’ll want to work with an experienced divorce attorney. Contact The Ault Firm today.
