Divorce is a heavy weight to bear. Even the easiest of divorces are difficult to go through. It can leave you feeling confused, lost, and unsure of what to do next with your life. No matter how impossible it may seem, know that it is possible to find closure and move on. Here are ten tips for moving on after divorce.
1. Grieve.
Navigating the grief process is crucial in moving on after a divorce. In a very real sense, divorce feels like a death. It’s the death of your marriage, the death of your chance at a happily ever after with your spouse, and the death of your role as a husband or wife. Without allowing yourself time to grieve these “deaths”, your grief will turn to resentment and anger, ultimately preventing you from being able to find closure and move on.
2. Ask For Help.
Remember that you do not need to go through this process alone, so don’t be afraid to reach out for help. There is strength in numbers! Seeing a mental health professional or joining a divorce support group can help you work through your feelings in a constructive way.
3. Forgive Yourself.
Beating yourself up will only prevent you from being able to move on. Just as you would want your ex-spouse to forgive you, you need to be willing to forgive yourself too.
4. Release Your Regrets.
When a marriage ends, people tend to focus on everything they could have or should have done differently. Doing this may seem like a productive activity at first, but dwelling on these things only causes you to suffer more.
5. Focus On What You Can Control.
If you don’t know where to start concerning your post-divorce life, try focusing on what is within your control. It’s not productive to dwell on situations that are out of your control. Start by taking time for yourself.
6. Think Of Divorce As A Fresh Start.
Instead of focusing on the endings happening in your life, treat your divorce as a new chapter. Consider the end of your marriage as a transition into a new phase of your life. Make a bucket list of things you want to include in your new life.
7. Cling To Your Other Relationships.
Socializing with others is vital after a divorce. Friends and family members are waiting and willing to help you. Find friends who are willing to listen without judgment.
8. Remember Who You Are.
Many people lose themselves in their marriage. While focusing on “we” they lose sight of “me”. This post-divorce transition period is a great time to rediscover who you are separate from your spouse. Re-establishing your identity as a separate individual takes time. Start by deciding who you want to be and what you want your new life to include.
9. Make Your Newfound Free Time Count.
If you felt held back in your marriage, now is the time to conquer any ambitions that you’ve been dreaming about. Grieving is necessary and important, but allowing yourself to find joy again is important too. Now is a great time to dive back into old hobbies or make room for new ones that appeal to you.
10. Celebrate The Little Victories.
Progress takes time. Moving on and finding closure after divorce is not something that will happen overnight. Measure your success in small doses such as finding one thing to celebrate each day. Any success, no matter the size, should be recognized and celebrated as a victory. This will encourage you to keep going, even during the hardest days.
Moving on after divorce can seem overwhelming at first. It takes time, but it is certainly not impossible. By being kind to yourself as you wade through this new chapter of your life, you can find true happiness again. If you have come to the decision that divorce is your next step contact us at The Ault Firm.
