Divorce is a challenging process for everyone involved, especially children. It can be even more difficult for adopted children because the separation of a family unit can amplify the difficulties faced by an adopted child. It is not uncommon for an adopted child to feel as though they do not “belong” in the family, regardless of how well they are treated and loved. Their question of belonging amplifies and becomes more complicated after the family splits.

Learn more about divorce and adopted children below.

The Impact of Divorce on Adopted Children

Many adopted children experience feelings of loss, abandonment, and a lack of security and consistency. Depending on when they were adopted, some of them may have first-hand experience and memories that have caused trauma. These feelings, coupled with your divorce, can amplify or resurface old emotions and memories.

Divorce will lead to a new life, a new normal. As it were, life is different for your children; two homes, two sets of rules, two different parenting styles, etc. This can be confusing for an adopted child, and they may be wondering how they fit into this new dynamic. As parents, you may also be experiencing feelings of guilt and confusion. After all, didn’t you promise to give this child a loving and caring home?

With all of these big emotions brewing, it is essential to remember that divorce is not the end of a family. It is merely the end of a chapter. You and your ex are still parents to your children, and your love for them still exists. There are many things, as parents, you can do for your children.

How to Help Adopted Children Through a Divorce

Put Your Children First — Now, more than ever, your children need to be put first. Children thrive in stable and consistent environments. You and your ex need to recommit to putting your children first.

Help Your Child Feel Secure — Be open, honest, and available to talk to your children about your divorce. Of course, you don’t need to do a deep-dive in your reasonings. Just speak with them as honestly and openly as possible. Reassure your children that you and your former spouse love them unconditionally.

Be an Example — Children are incredibly impressionable. Do not speak poorly about your former spouse or blame them in front of your kids. Additionally, show them a positive example of handling grief, pain, and stressful life events.

Aim for Consistency — If you and your spouse are willing, parent in a similar manner. Set the same rules, boundaries, and expectations, regardless of where your children are. If they are in your home or the other parent’s house, the rules and expectations are the same across the board.

Explain the Logistics — One of your children’s fears could be the sense of the unknown. Help your children feel stable in this new-norm by clearly explaining how co-parenting will work and how they fit in. Tell them about your custody arrangements and how their life will be after the divorce is finalized.


Contact The Ault Firm

Navigating a divorce with adopted children is incredibly complicated. While difficult, it is important to remember that, in the long run, your divorce is the better choice for everyone.

If you are facing a divorce and are in the Salt Lake City or West Jordan area, contact The Ault Firm. Our knowledgeable attorneys are committed to providing comprehensive legal representation and are dedicated to protecting your rights and best interests. 

Contact the professionals at The Ault Firm today to schedule your initial consultation.