Taking a break from your marriage via trial separation can play a significant role in the outcome of your relationship. Separations can give the necessary time, space and clarity to evaluate any issues at hand and to determine what the next steps need to be. In many cases, the ideal outcome of separation is reconciliation. However, to make the most of your separation, you and your spouse may want to get on the same page on a few things.
In today’s post, we will be discussing several guidelines you may want to set in place before beginning your trial separation. Continue reading to learn more.
Set Rules and Boundaries
If you or your spouse have any rules or boundaries you want to set, write them out clearly to avoid any confusion or potentially awkward moments. Set these limits up so that they are black and white. Any grey area can lead to confusion, so make these rules and boundaries as black and white as possible. This includes rules on seeing each other, intimacy, time with children, etc. Make the rules now and follow them.
Set a Timeline
Both parties should agree upon a time frame for the separation, especially if children are involved. Separations can last only a few weeks, or they can last for months. The longer the separation is, the likelihood of reconciliation diminishes. Ideally, trial separations are three to six months. This allows proper time and space without feeling rushed.
No New Relationships
It is important to remember that separation and divorce are not the same things. You are still married; therefore, it is not the best time to start a new romantic relationship. The goal of a separation is to give the needed time and space to gain clarity. The addition of a new relationship can further complicate the situation, making problems even worse and more difficult.
Commit to Staying Committed
Assuming the goal for your separation is reconciliation, try to remain committed to each other and to try to make it work. Whether you see a couple’s counselor together or discuss things without a third party, continue to work on bettering your relationship and working out the kinks. Both you and your spouse should use the separation time to reflect and try to understand the other person and any concerns they may have. The most successful of people, according to Stephen Covey, first seek to understand the other than to be understood themselves.
Map Out Finances Now
It is wise to make a game plan concerning finances beforehand. Set clear expectations and responsibilities for your shared money. Keep in mind that living separately will be more expensive: two rents/mortgages to pay, two refrigerators and pantries to stock, etc. Determining how your finances will work beforehand will help things run more smoothly.
Call on Ault Firm, P.C. for Your Legal Needs
The details leading up to your separation can help determine its outcome. Planning and following these guidelines can help you make the most of your separation. If you have questions regarding separation or divorce, call the knowledgeable attorneys at The Ault Firm today.