One of the more difficult conversations you will have throughout your divorce process is the one you will have with your children. Divorce is hard on everyone. The same goes for your children that are no longer considered “kids.” Telling your kids, even your older adult children, about the decision you’ve made will be challenging.
Continue reading to learn a few tips that will help guide you through this conversation.
Set Aside Time
Your conversation will go more smoothly if you schedule a time where you, your spouse, and your children can get together. Ideally, this meeting can be in person. You and your spouse should decide if you would like your children’s spouses to attend or not. Telling your kids all together will allow them to lean on each other for support.
When calling this meeting, let them know that you have something important you want to talk about in person. You may need to tell them that no one is seriously ill or dying. If meeting in person is not possible, video-call them in with an application, such as FaceTime or Skype.
Prepare What You Will Say
Together, with your spouse, prepare what you would like to say to your children. This conversation is likely to feel overwhelming and may bring on a wave of nerves. Things you want to say may slip your mind. If necessary, prepare note cards to remind you of everything you wish to discuss.
The information you share at your meeting may come as a shock to your kids. You may need to prepare yourself to have the same conversation with them a few times until the initial shock wears off.
Be Respectful and Clear
During your discussion, explain that you and your spouse have chosen to end your marriage. You can decide if going into the reasons why you are divorcing is necessary or not. Try to refrain from blaming one another, as your children will likely continue a relationship with each of you. Be respectful of one another to avoid creating a divide.
Let your children know what the end of your marriage means for them. Let them know how things will be different, but more importantly, let them know what will remain the same. Fill them in on how holidays and other family gatherings will look. Talk about what your intentions are for the family house. Include anything else that is pertinent.
Be Patient and Supportive
Your children, regardless of their age, will need to grieve the end of your marriage, too. Like you, they will go through the five stages of grief. Help them throughout this process. You may have had a head start, but they are just beginning to come to terms with this loss. Assure them that this is best for you and your spouse and that the love you feel for your children remains the same.
Additionally, you will want to prepare yourself to answer the questions your kids will likely have.
Contact The Ault Firm
If you have decided to get a divorce, let the team of attorneys at The Ault Firm be your advocates. We understand the difficulties you are facing and want to help you navigate them every step of the way. To schedule your case review, contact The Ault Firm today.